Kellyable

I’m in a not so good phase of my life. I’m lacking motivation, I’m anxious, uninspired and to top it all off, I gained almost all the weight that I had lost. I also feel like I have no one to talk to, since I don’t know anyone going through anything similar. I just feel like whenever I try to explain it, no one really gets it. I don’t see any progress in my life. However, something deep down pushed me to try and find some motivation or inspiration today. I read somewhere that people like me often don’t do certain things just because we don’t “feel like it”. But not feeling like doing something doesn’t actually stop us from doing it. As much as I don’t “feel like” getting up in the morning, there’s no invisible force keeping me tied up to the bed. Whatever we feel about the things we have to do doesn’t have any impact on the ability of doing them. Or, at least, that’s how it should be. I want to try and be more conscious and not let feelings control what happens in my day to d...

In September, I chose to read a book that was gifted to me by some friends in my birthday, back in July. It is Robert Bryndza’s “Cold Blood”. I’ve never heard about this author before but I decided to start reading before investigating. The book is categorized as a crime thriller and, in it, you are introduced to 2 stories. The first one is about Erika Foster, the detective we get to follow as she is confronted with the investigation of 2 brutal and shocking homicides, in London. The other story is about Nina Hargreaves, a young and innocent girl who falls in love with the wrong guy, a mysterious and dangerous man, Max Kirkham. In the cover of the book it reads “She fell in love with a killer, now she’s one too.”. So, you can imagine what happens, right? Young naïve girl, falls in love with a manipulative killer and turns into someone like him? Partly, yes, but this story is so much more than that! Due to the violent nature of our killer and the way Nina still follows him w...

Here we are, one month after the start of my journey and I have lot to tell you! Starting with my physical progress , I’ve lost 16.5 lbs in total, ~ 4 inches in my chest, waist and hips, and ~ 6 inches in my stomach. It’s amazing and I need to add that, so far, I haven’t done any exercise at all. But I will! I am nowhere near my goal weight but I have to say that I feel amazing ! I’ve always heard that it takes 21 days to make a habit out of something, but I’ve never had the will to keep up good, healthy habits for so long, until now. Because I can’t eat my feelings now, I had to learn how to deal with them, so I feel more emotionally stable .   This might be a bit tmi (too much information) but I think that it is very important: I used to have a lot of gas and horrible gas pains for so long that I got used to them, and I thought that I would always have to live with them. After completely cutting sugar off my diet it was all gone! No more pain, no more being unco...

I recently joined Reddit and, so far, I really enjoy the way people can share ideas and have discussions so easily. However, here and there, you see a post that leaves you wandering what’s wrong with humanity. Today I was browsing through the “New” posts and I found one with the title “I cheat on my boyfriend because the sex is boring”. I couldn’t help myself and I facepalmed. I opened the post and, as you can imagine, this person’s story was ridiculous and she had no regrets nor any intention to stop. To me, it was disgusting, but then it got me thinking about that old saying: “Once a cheater, always a cheater”. Is it true? I cheated once. I was 17, dating a guy 5 years older than me, for 3 years and it was the most toxic relationship anyone could ever imagine. It was never physical, but psychologically it was horrible. But at that age, I didn’t know better and I thought that that was love. One day, another guy came into the picture and started treating me very different...

“You promise to stay in touch with people, but it doesn’t work out. It never does.” Whoever said this never made real friends, geez… When I was in middle-school and high-school the phrase “Lets keep in touch and make plans for the summer!” was a must at the end of the year. Of course, as expected, there were never any plans and no one kept in touch. Or almost no one. Now that I find myself looking back, I always had a group of friends in school (it would change every year, but still) and we were inseparable… in school only. When it was time to come home on vacations or holidays we wouldn’t do stuff together, we wouldn’t even talk! And now I realize that I wasn’t even into most of those “friends”. It’s strange how your brain forces you into that group mentality in school. As if you are “weaker” if you’re not in a “pack ”. There are only 2 exceptions in my case, 2 girls that I’ve kept around through thick and thin. One I’ve known since pre-school (now 16 years) and the ...

Last week I discovered a Youtuber called Ready to Glare and I was instantly obsessed. At some point, I stumbled across a video called “Womenwith short hair are damaged” , and in it she was commenting on an article posted in a website called Return of Kings. I was curious about what kind of website could possibly entertain such old-fashioned ideas and, boy, was I in for a treat… Before I read any of the articles, I decided to check the “About” section and this is what it says: It goes on to state the ROK’s community beliefs which include things like “A woman’s value significantly depends in her fertility and beauty.” With titles like “7 ways women are like abandoned dogs”, “Never follow a girl’s lead”, “3 ways to ‘hypnotize’ a girl into a sexually submissive trance” and “5 reasons women should be banned from working as police officers” you can quickly understand the mentality of the people who write and frequent this site… And no, it isn’t just an ignorant boy in ...

Sometimes in my life, everything is going well and I’m doing what I want to do, I’m sticking to my plans and my schedules… But then, something happens, or if something new is coming up I start to feel drained. It’s more than the thoughts that make me nervous (as I mentioned here ), it’s physical. I want to sleep more, I want to do less, I postpone everything I can. Sometimes, I’m even annoyed just by talking! I don’t even know how I’m writing this  right now because I really just want to curl up in bed and stay there. I always thought that I was lazy (and I am) but now that I’m analyzing myself more I feel like there’s more to it. Am I ok?