Kellyable

I have a problem. Well, I have many problems but this one is super annoying. I tend to postpone stupid little things to a point where I probably won’t be able to do them anymore. I also postpone important things. I postpone important emails; I ignore some important deadlines... It’s so stupid. In other words, I procrastinate like a boss. The worst part is that I think of those things I need to do every single day. But I just don’t do them. What is this? Why is my brain like this? I guess this is a pretty common Portuguese problem, I mean, we are known for leaving everything undone until the last second, but it sucks so bad! Why can’t I learn? I was seriously going writing something completely different today, but guess what... I got myself into a shitty situation because I was stupid enough to postpone a simple email. I’m an idiot. At this point I usually say that “I need a therapist” but at this point I don’t even know what I need. I need a reset button. One that works, speci...

I got my much-needed break and now I am back with a clear mind, a headset and many ideas! I can not stress enough how important it was for me to take a bit of a break from technology. If you’ve never tried it before, be sure to try it whenever you can. I’m renewed. Anyways, lately I’ve been getting the opportunity to meet and chat with many different people online and a question that I usually get is: “Why aren’t you working in something on your field?”. For me, that question is not hard to answer, now. But if my life had been different these last past months, I can imagine that this could be an anxiety inducing question. I’ll explain. I have a degree in Biology and a master’s in Forensic Genetics and, as you know, I love learning more and more and I’m also completing my “Introduction to Cancer Biology” course . So, it is normal that people get interested in all of those things and want to know what I do. But, so far, I haven’t had luck in finding a job in my field. ...

Today I felt kind of anxious and stressed. I don’t remember any reason in particular for it. Stress was considered by the World Health Organization (WHO) the health epidemic of this century. They define it as a real, or perceived, unbalance between a circumstances’ demand and the ability of adaptation of the person. Weather we like it or not, stress is a part of our lives and if on the one hand it can be useful as it makes us take action, on the other hand it can physically and mentally impair us. How to deal with stress The times of nail biting and hair pulling are over! Check out 5 ways of dealing with stress: 1.     Writing – No, journaling is not just for hormonal teenagers. Writing is a personal and safe way to release all the feelings and thoughts that haunt you throughout the day. I’ve went into a bit more detail about it, here . 2.     Cooking – A delicious carrot cake with chocolate frosting, some ginger cookies, a cheesec...

It’s been a week since quarantine started and, tomorrow, I’ll be taking a risk, for love . Two days ago , I mentioned how much I missed my boyfriend and the feelings just got worse for both of us. So, since then we’ve been planning a way to spend some days together, in our own quarantine. We came up with something. We’ve both been in self-quarantine for, at least, a week and none of us has had any symptoms so far. He’s going to have the house for himself for a few days. So, in order to avoid any social contact, besides between the 2 of us, he’s coming to pick me up early in the morning, while my parents are at work and then we’ll go straight home. He has food in the house and I’m also going to take a few things with me to contribute. I’m also bringing gloves and disinfectant just in case we need to get something from the grocery store. I’m not sure how long I’ll be with him there but I honestly can’t wait. He is my everything . We’ve been together for a year and almos...

It’s day six of quarantine and today I was really struggling with missing my boyfriend a lot, and just missing physical contact in general. I have a very physical language sometimes and I really like hugging the people I love. Don’t know if that’s weird or not, but that’s how I act. I feel that there is something very soothing in receiving and giving hugs. Anyways, journaling was a big relief for me today. I have the habit of journaling often but today it was really necessary. I started drifting to a place where I don’t really like to go in my head where sadness turns into apathy that turns into not having the strength to do absolutely nothing for days. I hate it. So, I grabbed my notebook and I forced myself to let go of everything. Writing is my way of reflecting on my feelings. I can deconstruct my problems on my own, most of the times, to the point of starting an entry with an issue and ending it with a solution. I love that about writing. It allows my mind to flow in...

I’m in a not so good phase of my life. I’m lacking motivation, I’m anxious, uninspired and to top it all off, I gained almost all the weight that I had lost. I also feel like I have no one to talk to, since I don’t know anyone going through anything similar. I just feel like whenever I try to explain it, no one really gets it. I don’t see any progress in my life. However, something deep down pushed me to try and find some motivation or inspiration today. I read somewhere that people like me often don’t do certain things just because we don’t “feel like it”. But not feeling like doing something doesn’t actually stop us from doing it. As much as I don’t “feel like” getting up in the morning, there’s no invisible force keeping me tied up to the bed. Whatever we feel about the things we have to do doesn’t have any impact on the ability of doing them. Or, at least, that’s how it should be. I want to try and be more conscious and not let feelings control what happens in my day to d...

Sometimes in my life, everything is going well and I’m doing what I want to do, I’m sticking to my plans and my schedules… But then, something happens, or if something new is coming up I start to feel drained. It’s more than the thoughts that make me nervous (as I mentioned here ), it’s physical. I want to sleep more, I want to do less, I postpone everything I can. Sometimes, I’m even annoyed just by talking! I don’t even know how I’m writing this  right now because I really just want to curl up in bed and stay there. I always thought that I was lazy (and I am) but now that I’m analyzing myself more I feel like there’s more to it. Am I ok?