Kellyable

“The problem of being the strong one is that no one offers you a hand.” No. The problem of being the strong one is that you have a hard time asking for help. Either because of pride, embarrassment, or maybe just because you think you can solve everything yourself. Sometimes, you can’t. It’s very hard for me talking about my problems and asking for help. Not because I struggle with expressing myself or because I’m ashamed or anything like that. First, I always think that if I focus enough I can figure a way to solve everything, and I usually can, but sometimes I really struggle to get there and it would be easier to just talk with someone. Second, I hate feeling like I’m disturbing people or annoying them with my problems, and even though I know my friends and my family would be more than happy to listen, that thought it my head keeps me from speaking out more. Third, I feel like I’ve been put in this world to uplift people and make them happy and laugh when they

As you may have read before, I became single this February, and that was the first time I was single in a total of about 7 years. After getting over the sadness that comes with every breakup, I felt ready and excited to see what else was out there. I wasn’t look for anything serious, to be honest, but at the same time, I wasn’t not looking, you know what I mean? So, I talked with more guys that I can count, I went on numerous dates and the outcome was exactly the same, every single time: disappointment. From shitty personalities, to full out liars, I went through them all, and after this last one ( check out the story here ) I was done. No more meaningless dating, no more pretty faces with no brains, no more one-night stands. From now on, I’m not looking anymore. Actually, the thought of even going on online dating apps, at the moment makes me want to curl up in a ball and die. I’m focusing on me, my life, my goals, my happiness and my health. I’m working on going on an i

So, yesterday, I opened up my Google newsfeed and all I saw was Pope, Pope, Pope and more Pope. You already know where I stand when it comes to religion – I know absolutely nothing about it – but I was curious and decided to see what the fuss was all about. “Take your children to the shrink if they show homosexual tendencies.”, he said. I was instantly upset upon reading this, but I kept my cool, because we all know about clickbait these days. I read the article, but in the end, I couldn’t really understand the message he was trying to convey. So, I read another article, and another, but they all said the same. I was having a bit of an interpretation crisis. Considering where the church stands (or used to stand, I’m not really sure) when it comes to homosexuality, it’s easy to assume that he meant that if you put your kids in therapy early on, you can cure their “gayness”. This is a very, very disgusting thought to me, but judging by the comments on the articles, that’s h

The first week of my new dietary regime has passed and I am very happy with the results. I’ve lost 2kg (~ 4 pounds), 2cm (~ 0.8 inches) in my chest, waist and hips and 3cm (~ 1.2 inches) in my belly. So, physically, everything is going just how it’s supposed to. Mentally, this first week was a rollercoaster . I was very bored and irritated in the first days and I couldn’t understand why, but after I managed to regain control of my moods and emotions (around the 4 th day) I realized that I was finally allowing myself to feel the emotions that I would “mask” with food before. The afternoons were the hardest part of the day because it was during that period of time that I used to eat the most, especially sugary things. So apart from dieting now I also kind of went through some serious sugar withdrawal . It’s not a good feeling at all. I could feel my body craving it and everywhere I looked, in this house, there were cookies, sodas and other sweet things. I felt very tempted but

Nowadays, living without some sort of technology seems like a difficult, perhaps even impossible, task. Televisions, smartphones, computers are now intrinsic in our live, as they make them less complicated and more comfortable. Plus, we see new creations almost every day. That’s how fast science and technology are evolving. Will technology keep evolving forever or will it come a day where it all ceases to exist? Technological Singularity , or simply Singularity , is the hypothesis that the rate of technological progress will continue to accelerate exponentially to the point of creating artificial superintelligence (ASI) that will, qualitatively, surpass all human intelligence. For the pessimists, the coming of the Singularity might signal the end of the human era , as the new superintelligence would continue to upgrade itself and advance technologically at a huge rate. I have never given any thought to this matter until recently after reading Dan Brown’s “Origin” . In th

“The best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone.” We’ve all been in a position where someone acted in a way that was unexpected, leaving us confused and disappointed. Maybe you found out someone you trusted had been lying to you. Maybe someone you thought had your back did not come through when you needed them to. Or maybe someone’s personality just didn’t match what you had envisioned. As someone that’s in this situation I turned to a friend from some advice and she told me that it’s best for me if I never have expectations. This way, I never get disappointed and I only get surprised by what’s actually positive. But I wonder, is having no expectations of others realistic? Since everyone feels and interacts with others in their own way, I’m only presenting my point of view here. When I’m getting to know someone new, my guard is pretty high up and even if I can be very open with that person, in reality they are pretty distant from my truest f

Christianity, Buddhism, Islamism, Atheism. Religion. I know nothing about it. Ever since I could think for myself, I thought it was “dumb”. It made no sense for me how people could believe in the unknown so blindly. However, growing up makes you see things from different perspectives . My parents are Catholics and they tried raising me as one as well, but that didn’t work. They were never very religious anyway. My idea of Catholics (almost everyone I knew), at the time I was a very opinionated teen (when I was a fervent atheist), was that they were either fanatics, old ladies that liked judging others or hypocrites that only remembered Jesus existed in Christmas or Easter and that only cared to go to church for weddings and funerals. The nerve of some priests, preaching in degraded churches while rocking Mercedes and BMWs; people hugging and kissing during mass and then talking shit in each other’s backs. It just made my skin crawl. And I won’t even talk about all the inf

This story is fresh, because it just happened last week. So, this guy messages me, he’s pretty cute so I reply. After 2 or 3 messages he gives me his number and tells me to call him. That was kind of forward to me because I hadn’t even formed an opinion about this person yet. We barely talked! But he sparked my interest, I took the bait and I called. In 30 minutes, I found out about his 2 jobs, his 2 cars, his friend that died and his sexual fantasies and adventures. And I barely got a word in… Instead of labeling this as a red flag, I accepted having coffee with him, in that same week. 2 days go by and we decide to meet. He’s been going on and on about how much he wants to meet me and be with me, so I’m feeling kind of curious. We met at the mall because I’m not trying to get killed by my date (you better know your Tinder dates rules!) and the first thing he does is complain about how crowded the place was and how he wanted to go somewhere more private. And that’s Red F

I wasn’t sure I wanted to write about this, mainly because I didn’t think it would be anything interesting. I’ve always been a chubby girl, all my life. But there were some times when I would put on more weight than normal and I would always start a diet or start working out. I can lose weight easily (although I know I have more to lose, so those first weeks I lose weight faster). This time, is the worst that I’ve ever been, and it was affecting me more than anytime before. I could feel it conditioning me physically, I knew it was affecting me psychologically and last week I decided it was time to stop. I definitely have a “toxic” relationship with food. I eat my feelings, I stress eat. My body can feel hungry just after I ate, it’s really strange. I know I probably should discuss this with a psychologist and, one day, I’d love to. But for now, I feel strong and hopeful enough to try and get better “on my own”. Last Saturday I went to a consultation with a good nutritionis

A couple of months ago, I was catching up with this boy that went to high school with me. We hadn’t talk properly in years, and at some point (I don’t really remember what the topic of the conversation was) he “confessed” to me that, during an internship he did, he started having feelings for a co-worker, who was also a boy. So, I asked him if he realized that he was gay (because he always defined himself as straight), or if he felt more like towards bisexuality. I wanted to know where is mind was, if he was okay or confused. He told me it was strange because he couldn’t see himself doing anything physical with another man, but he still couldn’t ignore the feelings he had. He just didn’t feel gay. That got me thinking: Why do we feel the need to label all our feelings? I know the human brain was built to rationalize and compartmentalize everything, that’s just how it works. It has the need to understand and “name” everything (trust me, as a scientist, I can kind of unders

In this series you mostly saw the bad sides of a long-term relationship and, to be honest, a lot of things can go wrong. But many things can go right as well! For me, the most important things in these relationships are communication, respect and honesty because, if these are present, most issues that may surface can be easily talked out. And since talking prevents that buildup of aggravation, you won’t risk freaking out over “nothing” one day. If you are in a good relationship, enjoy it. If you are single, enjoy it as well, because what matters is that you feel happy and accomplished regardless of being with someone or not! Some people like to think of their partners as someone who completes them, I feel like I should be able to be complete on my own. Having a partner, to me, is like adding an extension to everything that I already am, double the happiness, double the fun, double the love. For those of you who are single, like me, don’t try to run into new relationships

The money he made was really good and since his financial situation was always really bad at home I was very happy for him, because he had a real chance to save lots of money to invest in his future. Perhaps our future. But then again, I was blown away when he returned a year later with no money. He managed to spent thousands he could’ve saved. And that broke me because I had really high hopes for him and his future, I wanted him to do well, to have a chance to change his life for the better, that’s why I endured a year away from him. And then he has nothing to show for it. That showed me that he had no control over his money, he was careless and didn’t think before he acted. And it was scary because at that point we talked about moving in one day and stuff like that. I would never live with someone like that. And also, our point of views were so different, he liked to talk like he knew everything, and he knew nothing. But then again, I sucked up the disappointment and we moved on

This February, I decided to end a 4-and-a-half-year relationship, in which I was actually engaged for almost six months. Before I tell you why, I’m going to give you a deeper look into the relationship, from the beginning. When we met, things were supposed to be casual, we were both just having some fun, but then we fell in love and started dating. We had a rocky start, I soon realized he was a “ladies’ man” and my alert senses were always on. Actually, the first 2 years of our relationship were full with disappointment and arguments, obviously we weren’t fighting all the time, but looking back the good moments were very “meh” compared to the bad ones. I saw a few texts he didn’t want me to, he was really immature for his age and had shitty attitudes all the time, I didn’t trust him at all . If this was happening now, I would never be with someone I couldn’t trust, but at the time I kept comparing him and his actions to my ex, and my ex was… sick. With him I had the 3 most to

After that initial honeymoon phase where people only show you what they want you to see, comes the time where the bad and ugly come out too. It can be something meaningless that none of you can control like having different goals in life that never cross, pulling you in different directions. You start to grow apart and the relationship doesn’t make sense anymore. A clash of personalities is also something you can’t help in a relationship. The compliments and the “I love you”s make way for other conversations, your traits start getting exposed and you realize you are not that compatible. Then a year or so goes by, the magic and the excitement fade a bit, the spontaneity isn’t as common, and you don’t even notice it for a while. The routine settles in, slowly but surely. And when you realize it, it’s been another year where most of the time you did nothing fulfilling with each other, and the worst is that you didn’t care either. In a different turn of events, you decide to l

If you are anything like me, you have lots of love to give and being in long-lasting relationships is not a challenge at all. Personally, I enjoy seeing someone develop and grow along with me and having a partner for so long, to me, means that I’ve found that person that I can talk to and most importantly that I can count on whenever I need someone the most. In the beginning, as you all know, it’s all very passionate and thrilling but, as time goes by, what was once very “hot” starts to get “lukewarm”. People get used to each other, and those big romantic gestures from the past become smaller, more meaningful acts of care. That bouquet of roses becomes a pastry, because you’re feeling down and need some comfort; that weekend-long vacation to another city becomes a small trip to watch that movie you’re dying to see. Basically, passion sets in, settles down and makes room for love. However, people sometimes forget that if you don’t keep rekindling the flame, it will eventually

Today was a day to explore the city, so I decided to go to a place that sounded magical to me... A little cozy cafe full of cats! Upon entrance you notice lots of cat related decorations but the most noticeable thing is this amazing mural. In it, you can see some buildings, related to the city of Porto, resting on top of a cat's head. But the head is composed of 4 different breeds of cats, which is definitely a forecast of what you'll find inside. But where are the cats? They have a special separate room all to themselves, in which they eat, play and sleep (a lot!). You can go inside and take pictures, pet them, watch them interact with eachother or you can even adopt them!                                                                                           But they also hang freely outside, so since it is summer, outside seemed like a good place to be with the cats and have some of their amazing f

I've had an interesting year, so far. It started really bad, as I recieved some news that shook our entire family, followed by the end of a 4 and a half year relationship, in which I was engaged (yes, I am aware that I am 22...). For a few months after, I went on some really bad dates but I've also met some cool people, and yes, I will have some #TinderStoryTimes for you later on. I got my first car as a gift from my parents, I celebrated my 22nd birthday last month (18th of July), and somehow I got into a downward spiral that was leading me to a path of self-destruction. I didn't want to talk to anybody, I didn't want to get out of bed... My day consisted of me being in my bed all day, doing nothing until I really had to, like paying bills on the last day possible, for example... To make matters worse, I have a bad relationship with food, in which I eat a lot. I eat when I'm stressed, I eat when I'm bored, I eat all the time. So as you can imagine, I gain

Hello, I am a 22 year old portuguese girl whose life is in dire need to change. Because of that, I've been challenging myself to either do new things or to pick up some old hobbies that I abandoned a while back, like writing. With this blog I intend to let you in on what goes on in my life and I want to share my point of view and my stories. Some of them are pretty relatable, and some of them might work more as a warning or a guide. Anyways, what more can I tell you about myself? I have a degree in Biology and I am currently about to start my second year in a Forensic Genetics masters (yes, it's kind of like CSI). I love reading, watching movies and exploring new places, but we'll talk about all of that eventually. For now, I want to welcome you to this first step in my new journey and I hope you enjoy the ride.