Expectations

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“The best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone.”

We’ve all been in a position where someone acted in a way that was unexpected, leaving us confused and disappointed. Maybe you found out someone you trusted had been lying to you. Maybe someone you thought had your back did not come through when you needed them to. Or maybe someone’s personality just didn’t match what you had envisioned.

As someone that’s in this situation I turned to a friend from some advice and she told me that it’s best for me if I never have expectations. This way, I never get disappointed and I only get surprised by what’s actually positive.

But I wonder, is having no expectations of others realistic?

Since everyone feels and interacts with others in their own way, I’m only presenting my point of view here. When I’m getting to know someone new, my guard is pretty high up and even if I can be very open with that person, in reality they are pretty distant from my truest feelings and trust. So, in these cases I can say that it is 100% possible to not have any expectations. To be honest, I actually expect the worst (yes, I have trust issues).

The real question is, can you have no expectations of the ones you know and trust? A parent, a best-friend, a sibling, a partner… Is it possible to not expect anything from them? To me, the answer is no, it’s not possible, unless you are emotionless.

When you like/love someone enough to put your trust in them, you create expectations: you expect your partner to be honest, you expect your siblings to be loyal, you expect your parents to be loving, you expect your friends to be there for you and to support you.

So, when someone tells me to not expect anything from anyone I think of only 2 things: they’re either incapable of trusting and feeling or they’ve been so hurt and let down before that they think they can hide their true feelings behind this “quote”. Making themselves believe that they can have zero expectations at all times is a way to feel safe, to feel that no one can hurt them again.

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