Who do you love?

A couple of months ago, I was catching up with this boy that went to high school with me. We hadn’t talk properly in years, and at some point (I don’t really remember what the topic of the conversation was) he “confessed” to me that, during an internship he did, he started having feelings for a co-worker, who was also a boy.

So, I asked him if he realized that he was gay (because he always defined himself as straight), or if he felt more like towards bisexuality. I wanted to know where is mind was, if he was okay or confused. He told me it was strange because he couldn’t see himself doing anything physical with another man, but he still couldn’t ignore the feelings he had. He just didn’t feel gay.

That got me thinking: Why do we feel the need to label all our feelings?

I know the human brain was built to rationalize and compartmentalize everything, that’s just how it works. It has the need to understand and “name” everything (trust me, as a scientist, I can kind of understand this need!). But, in my opinion, love should just be love.

According to the current “labels” I think I fall in the pansexual category (I feel attracted to people regardless of their sex or gender identity). I thought of myself as bisexual for a long time, but in recent years I realized that I don’t care! Everyone deserves love and I have lots of love to give.

Ever since I figured out that, for me, love was more important than the vessel it came from, I never thought about “what I was” again.

My advice for everyone who’s confused or that thinks the feeling they’re having are wrong is to NOT IGNORE YOUR FEELINGS. Your feelings are very important and valid. Don’t worry about having to tell people you’re like this or like that. Don’t waste your time thinking about those things. Don’t pay any mind to what others say or think. You don’t owe anyone anything, but yourself. Just allow yourself to feel. You deserve love.