Quarantine Thoughts - Day 22

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Lately, I’ve been dealing with some contradictory feelings about how to deal with a specific person in my life.

Just for a little bit of context on how I usually deal with people: it is really easy for me to cut people off of my life, sometimes to a fault. There have been times where people acted in a way that was wrong towards me and I simply cut them off, then and there, without thinking if there was a reason for them to act that way. Growing up and maturing made me start thinking about that and I actually reached out to one or two friends that I did that to, and we actually made up.

The second to last time this happened I was ready to burst (patience is sometimes not my strong suit) but I managed to get a grip on my emotions and I reached out to the friend in question, letting her know that the way that she was acting was really off and I asked her if there was anything wrong. And there was. I was so glad that I talked to her and that was the confirmation for me that I needed to change that aspect of me and the way that I react.

The last time it happed was with someone else, a friend of ages, and I don’t really know how to deal with it anymore. Last month, I was in a shitty job and because that friend has had some trouble with his own job and had to take legal action, I knew that he was the best person to talk to about this. I reached out and he ignored me. That kind of hurt me, since I considered him to be more than a friend, I always thought of him as family. A few weeks later I decided to contact him again, asked why he didn’t answer my texts since they were kind of important at the time and I made sure to ask if everything was okay. He gave me the shittiest answer before ghosting me again. And then yesterday (many weeks after the ghosting) he texts me as if nothing had happened!

Part of me wants to explode, part of me wants to ignore it. I probably should address it but then again if he ignores me, why should I give him attention when he remembers that I exist? It’s really annoying, but for now I think that I’m just going to continue to ignore it for a while.

What would you do?



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