Quarantine Thoughts - Day 41
People like to tell me
how much they dislike online dating apps: “Oh, it’s just not for me”; “Oh, people
just want to have sex”; “Us girls get lied to a lot on those apps”; “Oh, us
guys never get lucky with girls”; “Oh, I’m constantly being ghosted”...
Well, they are
preaching to the wrong choir here! I’m all for dating apps, I spent almost a
year using them and I met the love of my life through one, so don’t knock it until
you try it, I say! Even though I have a bad story or two...
Seriously, now, not all
people enjoy online dating and that is completely fine, but for those who are
curious but afraid, let me give you some tips to make your journey easier.
1. Always be honest! If you are looking for a
relationship, say so. If you just want sex, say so. If you are looking for
friendships, say so. Because people assume that dating apps are just for one-night
stands, they are afraid to let the others know that they are looking for more
than just that. And on the opposite hand, people looking for just casual sex
can’t pretend that they want something more just to get in someone’s pants!
Honesty is key.
2. Don’t take things personally. Someone ghosted you? Let
them be. Someone told you they didn’t like this or that about you? That’s fine,
move along. The point of online dating is sort of getting to pick and choose.
It might sound crazy, but that’s what detailed profiles are for! I bet you’re
not just swiping right on everyone, right? So, don’t take it personally when
someone swipes left on you.
3. Careful with your feelings. If you are anything like
me, you are a hopeless romantic. I wear my heart on my sleeves and if I feel a
connection to someone, I give everything. Sometimes, you’ll think you are
having great conversation with someone, or you had a date that went amazingly
well, and then the person just disappears. Yes, that happens way too often. So,
what I mean is, try to be you as much as you can, but unless you are 100% sure
that the other person is not going to bounce, just keep your heart guarded.
4. This one is the foundation of going on dates: Always
tell someone where you’re going, when you’re going and with whom you’re going.
When I went on my first date with my current boyfriend, I told a friend of mine
that if I didn’t check in with her by 11PM, that he probably stole my kidney and
to call the police. At 11PM, I was in the car with him and we were ready to go
home when my friend texted me “How’s the kidney?”. It has to be someone who will
truly check in on you, okay?
Don’t be scared to try
new things, it can be lots of fun! As long as you know what to expect, and know
how to protect yourself, you will be fine!
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